Welcome to the long awaited Summer Event Write Up
I will warn you all that there is a large quantity of both pictures and write up... it is best to read through the story as it takes you on the whole experience of both the great/tired and funny times of our holiday. Go and get yourself a nice coffee, park your bum in a nice comfy chair and enjoy the post...
You will notice that the diary changes between my personal account and a 3rd person account of me... this is due to Bex (Pixar) writing up the diary for me at the beginning of the write up with my contribution whilst we were driving from the first Hotel in France to the French Villa. You will notice that it changes from a present to past view point on a regular basis, this was purely down to the time in which I managed to write the diary up. Get the fire on, your in for a good one!!!
Enjoy
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Day 1 - Friday 25th JulyDue to French law it was necessary to take the radar out of my Originb2 else a £1000 on the spot fine could have been given by the police. This caused me to strip down the dash in order to get it out. Whilst this was taking place the rest of the car was stripped out and only needed bits were left, the rest was removed.
Everybody is now ready at Scott’s house for 21.30pm, Patrick was so exited he stood taller than he already is. Chris (Patricks Friend) came having had a few to drink and was extremely happy. Meanwhile Scott’s car had not been packed up so the packing process started after quickly learning that not all of Scott’s, Lisa’s, Jacks and My luggage was going to fit in Scott’s boot we called upon the services of Chris Cumbria. We folded down the back of his ST and made it into a fiesta van. Right 11.30pm yes 11.30pm we set off for the ferry.
Scott’s mileage upon leaving was
84376, this figure will come in useful to work out the total distance covered during the holiday when safely back home.
Day 2 - Saturday 26th JulyWe had a spritly drive as we were now running a little behind schedule and a couple of hours into the drive on the M25 we stopped at a service station and bought some fuel, Chris bought some munchies to soak up his alcohol lol.
We got to the ferry port with time to spare. We got our passports out and then went straight through to the security area which we were asked if we were carrying something. Chris got scrupalised a little more as he had his fiesta van full. We went through to get our boarding passes and proceeded to line up for the ferry.
Scott was at the end of the line 25 and the other started another queue in line 26.
We thought the cars would be split when driving on to the ferry but the port staff filtered in the lanes consecutively so i was at the front and others behind when boarding the ferry. After parking us up the wall of the ship we all climbed out of the drivers side as there was no space to open the door lol.
We went straight to the lounge to get ourselves some seats to get a bit of kip on but none of us wanted to miss the departure from dover so we headed to the top deck to get some snaps and wave good bye to the white cliffs. After we went back to the comfy lounge for the drivers to get some kip. On route down we saw people lieing down resting by doors, the bar the staircase, pretty much anywhere there was available floor or seat space. We still believed our area would still be there. We got there and it was full there was no where for us to sit down never mind trying to get some sleep.
One of the coffee bars was closed and there was a huge sofa and seating area inside so us being forward brit's we moved the ropes and the piled chairs and went in to get some kip. Closly followed by many others whom hadn’t been initially brave enough to break in. All snuggled down and trying to sleep there was however a fridge housing water and pop which intermittently kept making a huge noise, even louder than the noise of the ferry! oh well we managed to get a bit of kip in between the noises. Kevin had a man sleeping above him and managed to get kicked in the face on two occasions
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We arrived in France, viva le France and disembarked from the ferry we pulled over to change our plates and stick our GB Sign’s on (magnetic of course) and finally the light deflectors which the instructions were huge and nobody could disipher.
We had to move 5 mins later as we had pulled over head on to a lane which people were starting to queue in ready to board the ferry what a great start lol. Still we were going to have plenty of time to practise and perfect our driving on the opposite side of the road skills. We got onto the Toll roads and started our journey. After driving for a couple of hours we met up with Jimmy waiting for us just past our first toll payment point which was €6.
After greeting Jimmy we set off to Mcdonalds for a bite to eat. The French Mcdonalds does not compare to the English one they only do bacon and egg McMuffins and pancakes. There was no greasy sausage, milkshakes or mcflurys. Chris Cumbria went with Jimmy whilst we were there to take off his very noisy exhaust. They were gone for and hour and a half and it cost him near on the equivalent of £30 for the work which was pretty reasonable considering it was completely stuck on. We once again set off on our journey, tired and hot convoyed down the toll roads towards Paris. Finally on the outskirts of Paris we learned it was every man for himself and tried as best possible to stay together. The tunnels were ace and stretched for miles with the exhausts booming inside. Bet the French were thinking bloody British! Well on our way everyone was starting to get tired co-navigators were instructed to stay awake and offer conversation. Second set of tolls and this time €12. Where we stopped to stretch our legs and wait for others to get through Scott gave Patrick the Big Map of France book and Patrick asked “which page was France on in the French Map Atlas”. Yes he did feel a bit stupid but that wasn’t the only funny comment. Lisa also said whilst coming through the tolls “What would the French do if they were not carrying a passenger at the tolls” forgetting the French drive on the other side he he
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Onto the new toll road this one stretched for miles and miles with the same countryside scenery. We decided to make a stop in Bouges and all had sandwiches to tie ourselves over until we were able to get into Clermont-Ferrand and go out for dinner. When we finally arrived at the third toll we were all a little shocked when we told us the price €32!!!
We arrived in Clermont-Ferrand and it was time to get checked into our hotel as everybody was on their last legs especially the drivers, with 638 miles completed and a ferry journey across the channel to Calais. And 22 hours of driving we all deserved a rest. Patrick, Chris ,Jimmy and Mandy set off for their hotel and the rest of us went to our airport side hotel. When we were arrived all of the hotel was locked up and there was a note with our surnames and instructions taped to the door the only trouble was it was in French and our French skills only stretched to hello and thank you. We set about scaling the hotel and found the back kitchen door open so walked in shouting Bonjour and no answer. It was really spooky and like something you'd see off a horror film when a monster jumps out and bites our heads off. We all decided it probably wasn’t best to let ourselves in as it was like breaking and entering, meanwhile whilst all this was going on Kevin had used his loaf and gone to the airport to find someone who spoke English and the lady at the information desk did. She rang the owner of the hotel who in turn gave us the pin code to get in and told us our keys were in the doors and our room numbers were on the note
(which was stook on the door if you are managing to keep up lol). Right so we finally got into the hotel and our keys were in our door, we all took our stuff in then decided we should go out for some dinner as time was getting on. We headed out to Clermont-Ferrand Town Center to get something to eat it was like a ghost town and all the eating establishments were closed. We drove a little out of the town and found a quant Chinese we thought it was seriously funny ordering a Chinese in France. The menus were in French and Chinese so guesswork was needed to order our meals. We managed to order everything we wanted and enjoyed every last morsal mmmm. After our meal to went back to the hotel and got tucked into bed for a much needed good nights sleep.
Day 3 - Sunday 27th JulyWe got up this morning bright and early at 7.30pm and had a shower ready for breakfast. Headed to breakfast at 09.00am we had a buffet of continental breakfast which of course we polish most of it off. The French ppl in there really don’t get their monies worth lol. We even made up some ham sandwiches out of the ham and French stick for our journey today as they are extorsionate from the services.
Kevin had left his passport in his room and the owner of the hotel has already left the premises and all keys have been handed in. Thank god that Kevin left his room door open and the fact he realised upon leaving and not when we had reached the Villa which was hundreds of miles away.
Off we went on to the main road travelling down to view the spectacular site of the Millau Bridge, before continuing our journey to the far South of France.
Along the way we stopped for a calipo which I may add was lovely, they did cola flavour and a tropical strawberry flavour; I highly recommend the later if you ever come to France. Stocked up on water for the journey we decided to have ad a group photo with the spectacular view. The toilets had the same view also, surely it's a Carlsberg moment... if Carlsberg made toilet blocks, they would look like this.
Then off we set once again after not getting so far we were getting a squeeking sound from my car and had no idea what was causing it. We all decided to pull off at the next available place so I could check it out. We pulled in to a car park in direct view of a viaduct, the view was breath taking once again another opportunity for a group shot and an ST body pic.
The car had the break calliper stuck on causing the break pads to grip to the disk making it all seriously hot. We tried to unstick them and it worked a little but didn’t solve the problem.
Once again we set off this time without Jimmy as his car had over heated. He said he would catch us up. So now we are driving up and down and through the mountains which were beautiful but at an altitude of 1120 metres causing everyone’s ears to start popping
We finally arrived near the Millau Bridge. Just before we went across it we stopped at the services and got our windows cleaned and cameras all set up ready for the crossing... we would only have 1 crack at it so it was important that we got it right the first time
We then set off and reached the Millau Viaduct Bridge... it was spectacular, the pics don't really show how it really is, but after 574miles from Calais and 140miles from the Hotel we stopped at along route it was the first of our goals reached.
We reached another viewing spot and had to wait for a goat hearer to move his goats up the hill before the cars could be moved into place.
After this we carried on down the Toll Roads to make sure we picked up pace but then decided what the heck and pulled off to explore the French forests on route to the Villa. We were putting our foot down through the forest for about 40miles of flat out driving... it was spectacular. Taking that back roads, wow!!! My tyres were smelling, my brakes were on fire and my clutch was smelling... but it was worth every second of it.
We were about 20miles away from Carcasson where we were meeting the housekeeper of the Villa which was coming to the Airport so we could follow him there. We were a few hours behind time already but informed him of this and set about finding somewhere to eat.
Finally got to McDonalds at 22:40 and it shut was inside so had to order through the drive through… Bex ordered everything and also managed to get hers with no crap on just burger and cheese!!!
We have no idea if we are going to be able to pick up the keys for the villa or not tonight as we are still about 40 mins away from the villa.
On the plus side my brake finally has finally released itself and my car is running ok again.
After eating the MacD's super quick we set about to the Airport where he was meeting us... After driving down the country lanes, Sarah (Kevs daughter) had dropped to sleep so he radioed through and said he was dropping back and we should crack on and get to the housekeeper as he was getting increasingly frustrated as he had been hanging around the airport for the last few hours waiting for us.
We finally arrived at the Airport to a very grumpy housekeeper but after a while he did calm down. We drove in convoy to the villa... he had saloon car, can't remember exactly what... a passat or something and he was absolutley ragging the nuts off it to get to the villa... was having to put my foot down to keep up with him... esp as i had 4 people and all the laugage in the car.
We finally got there and he showed us around, gave us the keys and then set off and left us too it... but, one problem... where the heck was Kev. He had no idea where we were... was too far out for radio reception and both his and julies phones were turned off.
We waited around a while thinking, maybe we should go to the airport as he might be there but finally got contact from him asking where we were.
The funny part about this was that his radios had died, his phones had died and he had no address of how to get to the villa... but... a little spark came into his mind and he remembered me telling him to buy an in car power converter so you can plug house plugs in... so he got it out the packet, routed in his case for the phone charger and hey-presto he had a working phone to call us.
During this i went out in my car and managed to get the gps location of where we where to give yo Kev to put in his Sat Nav... we the villa address wasn't recognised in the Sat Nav. I went out and waited at the end of the road for him... during this time Patrick and Chris decided to go out and get some Fags from somewhere. During their trip Kev had forgotten that he was in France and was driving on the left hand side of the road, whilst Patrick was on the correct side... they both went into a twisty tunnel and nearly had a head on crash... they only missed each other by a couple of feet... I think this scared both drivers as they arrived back to the villa pretty shocked from the close encounter.
Day 4 - Monday 28th JulyToday was spent, relaxingand going in the pool to chill out after the long drive and soak up the warmth and sunshine.
We needed food so a few of us set out to the local hypermarket and spent €274… which is £215 on the weeks food... It's not a lot when you split it between 12 people... Works out at £18 each for a weeks worth of food, goodies and treats... lots of treats lol.
Kev and Julie, got their Nintendo Wii out that they had bought along but unfortunatley forgot the controller's lol... it is always funny when you take something somewhere but end up forgetting a part of it and then can't play with it... come on, we've all done it lol.
The sun was shining, the temperature was boiling and the pool was warm... so...
We put the BBQ earlier in the evening and started cooking the food that we had got from the hypermarket, we had sausages, burgers and chicken thighs.
Unfortunatley whilst eating my Chicken from the BBQ I dropped the plate on the tile floor, much to everyones abusement for me saving the chicken instead of the plate
Everyone got drunk and Chris fell into the chair and broke it PMSL!!! The funniest part about all this is that they went out earlier in the day and tried to find an ATM but couldn’t even do that and they had my Tomtom to walk around the town with and now they had to find a chair to replace the broken one with!!!
Items Broken to date:
Glass - Bex
Plate - Scotty
Chair – Chris
Most of the group excluding, Scott (Me), ChrisC, Jimmy, Mandy, Julie and Sarah… and Jack who had been in bed since 7pm in the evening were sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo drunk and it just got worse and worse… Lisa kept snorting because of her alcohol consumption, even though she kept on reassuring me that she wasn’t drunk… Patrick came into the dining room which was now the “office” and after I threw a fan at him whilst he was by the window he fell straight out… LOL!!!
Day 5 - Tuesday 29th JulyUp to early hours in the morning with everyone feeling sick and worse for ware… I had to take care of the majority and sort them out… I made sure they drank loads of water and had some drinks on their bed side tables for when they woke up in the morning…
Patrick and Chris both woke up and didn’t know why they had drinks to which they later found out I put them there… I think they were grateful for that since they had smelly sick breath from the night before.
Me and ChrisC woke up about 10:30am after a nice lye in… the rest of the group were up excluding Mandy and Patrick… but he had been up earlier in the day and had since died from alcohol poisoning.
During the morning a few of the people who had got up (which wasn't many) had spotted a Giant Moth on the door so decided to get some photos. Great photos of it.
We decided to chill out again today and spend it in the villa facility and use the pool.
Jimmy doesn't like swimming pools so decided to do some advanced artwork
A few people were burnt including Mandy, Patrick, Chris and ChrisC so factor 50 it was. We set up a volley ball net in the middle of the pool and put 3 cameras around the pool to try and get some action shots of the game whilst we were playing Big Brother styleeeeee. I have no idea if they are successful or not but I’m sure after the movie is completed for the holiday you will know if it was or not.
Today another item of the house was broken, Patrick noticed that the bottom of the pool had a broken cap but claimed that it was nothing to do with him and it must have been broken before… well… I have no idea but I know that it wasn’t anyone else as no one else can touch the bottom of the pool!!!
So… that’s a cup, glass, dish, chair, towel rail and swimming pool that need to be replaced… not bad really for day 4… right?
We decided to watch the videos from the trip down on the TV in the lounge as we have no way of getting the DV Tape Camcorder videos onto the computer at current. Whilst doing this I got electrocuted about 15 times and others were laughing at me finding it funny… This was until they had to put their own videos on and endured the same treatment of being electrocuted by the TV
After this all us lads went out to wash our cars and Jimmy went out to try and repair his centre mirror that had fell off the day before with some special super glue… which, proved to not end up sticking so he ended up using some tape to try and secure it back on the screen.
We then had dinner and chilled out a little more and decided to go out to Carcasson Castle and get some photos of our cars in the dark whilst the castles lights were on.
We set out 10pm and managed to find the road/path/whatever it was that lead up to the castle. It has no entry signs but we went up there anyaway (as we always do). We all got a little nervous and pedestrians were commenting about being parked there so not knowing the country and how things work, didn't really want to be involved with the police.
We then proceeded to a carpark to which pedestrians told us to be careful again… hmmmm... it seemed being there was wrong for some reason.
I went out without a shirt on but only once I had got there did Jimmy alert me that it was illegal to not have a shirt on around town and there was an x amount of € fine for that offence
Day 6 - Wednesday 30th JulyToday Patrick decided he wanted to use the vacuum after finding it in a corner the event before. He switched it on and then broke the power button lol…
We left the house at around 12:30pm on the afternoon and headed for the beach.
We arrived at the South Coast of France in the Aude region.
Got told off for using the toilet in a bar... to be fair we didn't buy any drinks lol.
After the beach we were all hungry and decided to stop off at a restaurant called “Quick”… it was the European or French equivalent or not equivalent to MacDonald’s. Jimmy, Pat and Chris had been there a previous night for dinner and raved about how good it was.
After arriving at Quick and eating the food, we found out the Coke was flat, the Fanta tasted of sewage, the burger wasn’t enough to fill a 2 year old with the meat tasting of 10x processed pig fat and the chips weren’t much exciting either. Over all, I shall not be eating there again when in France.
Whilst out on the return back to the villa I turned out of a junction and ChrisC went on the left hand side of the road and Pat and Kevin followed and then went over the brow of a hill and then noticed there was a car on coming!!! This is the second time now…
On the way home a Peugeot 106 kept on over taking us and then we were over taking him. We came up with a great tactic that once I had over taken him and we had gone through a small town, when the main roads came up we all talked on the walkie talkies and all put our feet flat on the accelerator and I made a space between me and the 106 for the other 3 cars of the convoy (minus Jimmys broken Polo as he left it at the villa) We were all once again infront of him… we did this quite a few times as it was a great tactic.
When we were getting back towards home we stopped at Carcassone Castle again to take some photos.
We had to walk into the vin yard over the other side of the road to get pics and it had a steep verge to get up… which ChrisC fell completely down face first, which was pretty funny
Then people kept on parking on the road that was surrounding the vineyard next to the main A road and it was very weird as it felt like we shouldn’t be there and any second the police are going to pull up and fine us for something we have no idea of. Just felt very odd.
We got back and the guys decided it was a good idea to start drinking 62% volume rum which they later found out was flammable and then proceeded to pour it on the path and make a burning ST logo… it was pretty damn good tbh
Not forgetting MandyJayne’s artwork for the group.
Day 7 - Thursday 31st JulyI woke up at 11:30am today due to not going to bed until 5:30am as Jack had ear ache and couldn’t sleep in Bex’s bed. It’s never nice being ill and not having a bed of your own to sleep in. Fortunately he woke up and was ok today; we reckon that it was down to the water in the sea that got into his ear.
During the morning whilst Chris and Jimmy re-fixed Jimmy’s mirror back on his windscreen with duck tape a few of us did a C&A (remember it?) style photoshoot.
In the afternoon we set off to Carcasson Castle where we had a brilliant time and got some great photos, as you will now see.
Chris and Jimmy went out earlier to go shopping… what a pair of girls!!! We seen them at the Castle during our time but they had to leave as they had parked in the town which was about 3 miles away… We parked literally right outside the Castle which I am soooooooooooooooooooo glad about as I was about to pass out and die from the heat. They had to walk all the way back… haha!!!
We got back to the Villa and a few of us went in the pool to enjoy the rest of the day as it was so hot whilst we were out we were dieing to jump into the pool.
After spending some time in the pool we set the BBQ alight and started cooking some food once again. Whilst we were cooking the BBQ’s surroundings caught fire and we had to put it out with a kettle once again lol.
It was getting dark by this time and Chris was still in the pool and noticed that there was a pool light. He got out and looked all around for a switch inside and outside of the villa but couldn’t find out so proceeded to mess with the light under the water and managed to pull it clean out of the housing… oops… he did manage to put this back into place though, phew!!!
Since tonight was the Celebrity Dress Up night I set the pool area up with lights ready for everyone to get into their outfits on and enjoy the evening. Whilst setting the lights up Patrick set about breaking yet another item. He broke the protective cover to the parasol…
It was decided this would not be missed after realising we would not be able to glue it back together or be able to find a replacement part for less than €3million… so… Patrick is officially added to the list of breakages.
Once everyone was dressed in their outfits we all met back at the pool area for the rest of the evening... heres a few shots of us
Its up to you to guess who everyone is dressed as.
Some sweets to accompany the outfits
After spending some time out by the pool in character we all went and had showers to polute the French water system with blue paint and jumped in the swimming pool.
Day 7 - Friday 1st AugustWhen people woke up today there seemed to be a very low esteem within the ST household and an anticlimax like situation was evident. Everyone was talking in a depressed mood and being very short with their sentences. Although we still have a week left and we shall be setting off to Alicante at 10am tomorrow morning it seemed that people didn’t much want to pack up and think about the move and journey to get there. It wasn’t so much the drive, it was the time it took. We shall be pulling off the toll roads and taking some of the back roads to enjoy some of what Spain has to offer.
Today we just set about relaxing around the pool. From being in the sun quite a bit and people wanting suntans too quick and the burning had started to peel away leaving sore patched on peoples backs.
Patrick
Mandy Jayne
Whilst washing a glass Mandy Jayne added to the list of broken items
In the afternoon when it got a little cooler some of us went out to get some of the items we needed to replace and also get some drink for the journey the next morning. Upon return one of the items that had been replaced (the chair) somehow managed to end up at the bottom of the swimming pool
Chris set about rescuing it.
Today the following items got broken: chair (Patrick), table (Jimmy & Patrick), fence lock (Scott and Mandy) and glass (Mandy), I walked into the studio flat outside and after doing some dance moves with Patrick I managed to hit the light with my hand and it swung a few times on its wire and then the fixing fell out of the ceiling. Luckily Chris was straight on the case and managed to put it back up in the ceiling.
Chris' nice frazzled back!!! *ouch*
Jimmy's nails!!!
Just as I was going to bed I heard a load of laughing so decided to investigate. Yet again Mandy Jayne had pulled the seperator off its tracks.
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