Why don't men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!

Why are vibrators better than men?
Because they never screw other women, never come in drunk, and you don't have to do their laundry!

Why are hangovers better than men?
Hangovers will go away.

How are men and batteries different?
Batteries have a positive side.

Why is virginity like a balloon?
All it takes is one small prick and it's gone.

What is the difference between garbage and men?
Garbage gets thrown out and stays out!

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

What do UFO's and caring men have in common?
You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

Why is dating like a game of cards?
Because if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Why don't women like basketball players as lovers?
Because they dribble before they shoot.

How can you tell if your husband's dead?
Sex is the same but you get the remote.

How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?

Why did God create men?
She forgot to put the legs on snakes.

How can you tell if a man is a Male Chauvinist Pig?
He thinks "harass" is two words

What do you call a caring, considerate and gifted man?
A Myth.

Why do women always wear black to bed?
To mourn the dead pricks beside them!!

Why did God Create man first?
1. Practice makes perfect.
2. Give us someone to bitch at immidately.
3. There's a frist draft with anything.
4. To see what needed to be fixed and then make the proper changes.
5. First is the worst.........Second is the best!
6. To be funny

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.

What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini.

Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy."