70-year-old George went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"

A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again

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What do older women have between their breasts that younger women don't?

A bellybutton

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Things to do in a toilet stall

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your
neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that colour before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Darn this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place 6 feet to 8
feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get in there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10.Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while
yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"