Funny one yesterday...
got back from the supermarket and was crouching down putting things into the fridge and I farted
my girlfriend then walked over to get something out and said to me
"Babe something smells like it's rotting in your fridge"

I couldn't stop laughing

Couple of crackers for you all to enjoy...... I'm sure you can work out who they came from

We were out at a Carvery, stood in the queue waiting, the chef was carving up the various meats and a little voice pipes up "oh look, they've got bacon........." I had a look over, "uh that's a plate of crackling!!"

And last night at the Fancy Dress party....... I'm dressed as Superman in the full outfit, there is a guy wearing a suit, the glasses and a superman tshirt (Clark Kent) and that same little voice pipes up again, "where's Kent Clark gone"lol:

Oi....

Jodie: "What do you call a lamb doing karate? Pork chop ... Oh, wait..."

brilliant....

How about this for a quote of the day!!!

oh dear Duncan.........!!

Wy wife just asked me which formula one driver broke his nose at the weekend. She said "was it kimi's nose?"

She actually thought it was talking about his real nose, not the nose of his car

Bless them hey

Taking an intrest tho, more than me gf does.

Bexx asked what nationality that GERMAN F1 driver Michael Schumacher's brother is.....!!

Oi... stop discussing my quotes Mr Stig

Could be a situation like Jerome Boateng and Kevin-Prince Boateng (bit strange but can happen)

Yeh but it's not, it's Ralf and Michael Schumacher