hey guys thought id have a little rant on here - basically cos im bored at work and stuff doing my head in.
basically ive got 2 jobs - a manger in the day and care worker at night.
my other half has started working as 24 hour recovery so he does 4 days on and 4 off.
im just finding it really hard to actually spend anytime together at the moment so when we do im usually knakered and he wants to see his friends (luckily we have the same group of mates so go out together) but sometimes it just feels like he is choosing them over me.

last night for example, when he got back from the job he was doing he rang his mate (who was out with me) to see if he was out. this annoyed me as i would of thought he would be wanting to ring me first as we havent spent anytime together this week?
then he came out so i had a little dig at him bout it. then this mate wanted a lift somewhere so we said ye ok but i wanted to be in 12ish as working today and been going to bed 1-2am last few nights.
then met some other mates, he went off gabbing with them, hardly spoke to me all night then suprise suprise he got called out to a recovery.

off he went and i had a mini cry and just txt him saying i wanted to spend some time with him to which he basically replied that he wanted to see his mates too.
all a nightmare but do you people think im over reacting or any one got any suggestions??

im working today, he should finish at 2pm so if he was a normal guy he would probs suggest we do something together tonight...is that a fair expectation???

opinions pls

Hun my life is the same. I work 5 evenings, my OH works 7 days a week running his own business, he gets up leaves before I'm up and most days we don't even see each other before I lave for work, at weekends he comes home 5-6pm knackered out!!! Whenever I go anywhere I always feel like I'm a single parent it gets on my nerves!!!! We never really do anything together just a holiday once a year!!!

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me hun, its abt getting the balance right between working, seeing mates together and separately and having time together.

Talk it thru together and plan some "you" time

Give you both something to look forward to

BTW what is "gabbing"??

Clearly lost touch with his love for you. I don't know if this is just tiredness or stress but he needs to pull himself into line. Friends as not a relationship. He needs to understand you are number one... and friends number two.

You need to have a proper talk with him... at home sitting down and ask him how he sees the relationship.

If i did that to Sarah she would have me out the door.

lol rob "gabbing" is yorkshire for chatting

and yeah we only been going out 4.5 months so it is really good at the moment but think recently its prob a combo of too much work not enough sleep and the fact that hes a guy and generally doesnt think to talk to me or consider how i feel (its a male thing no offence )

i dont mind staying out with friends but it really P**sed me off about the phone call.
i think thats what tipped me over the edge lol!!

he knows i finish work soon so gonna see what he might suggest for us to do tonight bearing in mind he knows im working mon-fri daytime and mon, tue and thurs night this week so he will hardly see me - Im guessing we are probably go nna go out with his mates lol!

4-5 months? Well if it's this bad now imagine what it be like in 10 years - make the changes now Hun!!!

I work away mon-fri and sometimes the weekend aswel when i come home i spend most of my time with the missus an baby and the odd weekend ill got out on the town with mates ect but i always make sure ive spent time with them.

It's hard these days - our generations are different to the older ones and I mean like my parents generation coz my mum never worked and my dad just did 9-5 they were always together!! It can't be like that now coz we need money to modify our cars lol xxx

well guys, ive made it sound like its like this all the time which it isnt.
think we just having a bad few weeks and obvs his new job is takoing some getting used to.

met him last night after work and we stayed in and had a cuddle and watched a film together.
he doesnt really like talking bout feelings etc so when we got to bed i managed to talk to him and he apologised andn i explained my point to him and he said he understood etc so basically think we were just both really tierd and ended up taking it out on each other.

soooo today we are all smiles and happy again
ive managed to get wed off work 9and hes not working) soooooo im gonna suggest we spend the day togetehr n maybe a cinema trip then at least i see him before he starts his 4-day shift again

It's hard for a guy to pass judgement on your situation because tbh our lass has a go at me about choosing friends over her all the time, which isn't how it is.

All I will say is that as a guy I find it very hard to hang around with women all the time, girls have a totally different sense of humour etc. I have to have some time away from our lass or our relaltionship simply would not work.

Without wanting to sound like a **** relationships tend to come and go in life, good friends don't.

yeah this is true bout good friends
it was a wierd situation i think exacberated by the fact he has been on call 24hours a day so was feeling abit neglected lol and because hes on call we cant plan anything.

we have had a mini chat and ive managed to get the day off on wednesday so we can do something together before he goes back on call so all should be good if what ive said actually bothers to sink in

Yeah I understand the stress of shifts etc, it puts a lot of strain on a relationship.

The easiest way to look at is that at the end of the day men and women will just never see eye to eye. If your relationship still works through the arguments and **** then you're probably on to something good.

It's an example of when women just don't get men. It's the same the other way round too though. I mean if our lass talks to another bloke, even if shes known him for years, I start loading up my .50 cal and lining up a head shot. Just the way it is.

If you make the most of the time you have together, Steffi, everything else will fall into place