1. Men are like .......Laxatives ...They irritate the sh*t out of you.
2. Men are like .......Bananas .....The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .......Weather .....Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders ....You need One, but you're not quite sure why
5. Men are like .......Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .......Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like .......Department Stores . Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like .......Government Bonds ...They take sooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .......Mascara ............They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like .... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .....Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like......Parking Spots ....All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

now hang on miss lol

You have a problem with something i've said Ste???

not something... everything

Ha ha..... So you think you're different?

nup lol

What's up chick

Top 10 Reasons Computers Are Male

1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

2. A better model is always just around the corner.

3. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

4. It is always necessary to have a backup.

5. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

6. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

7. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

8. The lights are on but nobody's home.

9. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

10. Size does matter

haha good quotes lisa, totally agree with them all lol

2 against 1 now Ste

hehe

Men are like....Animals
Messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but occasionally make great pets.

Men are like.....Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like....Bras.
They offer light, medium and complete support.

Men are like....Buses.
They come every 15 minutes.

Men are like....Buses.
They have spare tyres and smell funny.

Men are like....Computers.
And a smart woman keeps a backup.

Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.....Fires.
They go out if unattended!

Men are like....Fine wine. They start out as grapes.
It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature.
And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like....Oreos.
Once you eat the cream they aren't good anymore!

Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table

Men are like.....Recliners.
You pull the lever and they lay back

Men are like....Teeth.
You ignore them - you lose them.

Husbands are like....Children
They're fine if they're someone else's

so so true lol

Why don't men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!

Why are vibrators better than men?
Because they never screw other women, never come in drunk, and you don't have to do their laundry!

Why are hangovers better than men?
Hangovers will go away.

How are men and batteries different?
Batteries have a positive side.

Why is virginity like a balloon?
All it takes is one small prick and it's gone.

What is the difference between garbage and men?
Garbage gets thrown out and stays out!

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

What do UFO's and caring men have in common?
You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

Why is dating like a game of cards?
Because if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Why don't women like basketball players as lovers?
Because they dribble before they shoot.

How can you tell if your husband's dead?
Sex is the same but you get the remote.

How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?

Why did God create men?
She forgot to put the legs on snakes.

How can you tell if a man is a Male Chauvinist Pig?
He thinks "harass" is two words

What do you call a caring, considerate and gifted man?
A Myth.

Why do women always wear black to bed?
To mourn the dead pricks beside them!!

Why did God Create man first?
1. Practice makes perfect.
2. Give us someone to bitch at immidately.
3. There's a frist draft with anything.
4. To see what needed to be fixed and then make the proper changes.
5. First is the worst.........Second is the best!
6. To be funny

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.

What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini.

Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy."

give it a rest you lolol!!

Lisa!

Where did u disappear to Ste......Don't tell me you've been working???

Got to keep myself entertained at work somehow

I find that hard to believe!!

lisa what have u got against man? or are u a lesbien??

Ha ha, nothing and no im not.

Just had a boring day at work.

I'm a secretary