Hello, my name is John. I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion
f*cking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you
send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to sh*t?
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone
to whom you send "his" email, £1000? How stupid
are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get
laid by every good looking model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullsh*t.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize
me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to the USA by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. F*ck them.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10
of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a
human being will somehow receive a nickel from some
omniscient being" fowards about 90 times.
I don't f*cking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't p*ss people off by making them feel guilty
about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this email.
Oh, by the way all you idiots out there... NO COMPANY HAS ANY WAY OF
TRACKING E-MAIL OUTSIDE THEIR SYSTEM - NO, NOT EVEN
MICROSOFT!!! THERE IS NO SUCH TECHNOLOGY YET!!!!!! AND IF THERE WERE, IT
WOULD PROBABLY BE AGAINST THE LAW TO TRACK IT
FOR PRIVACY MATTERS.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume
your genitals.
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